Dylan AntiUnknown *WIP* *CWAC Story*
Notice and stuff: This page was made for the humor, and you dont know how hard it is for me without swearing o_o If an admin feels there are any inappropriate content, feel free to remove it/revise it/or inform Nalyd of it. This page is not in the same continuity to any other existing page unless approved by other person featured in story. *and completely ignores that this is about star wars, but meh.* Also, feel free to change any and all Grammatical errors, *But do not, DO NOT, change "brother" to Brow there *only few members gets this reference* If you dont find this article funny at some times, its mostly because i finally think its better to focus on this certain *horrible* storyline. Dylan AntiUnknown is an awesome person o_o today, you will learn about this legendary legend who was so legendary that everyone died. anyway, his occupations ranged from just being an awesome person to being an awesome person with a job o_o. Biography The story begins So anyway, i was not born o_o. I was randomly put on this world for no purpose, i am the son of the multilple void o_o, the spawn of all things non existing o_o. So anyway, i decided to give myself a purpose o_o. anyway im going around stalking people and i stumble upon a person in need of a Bounty Hunter, since i have never had expierience has a bounty hunter i assumed i would be perfect for the job o_o. I was sent to kill a man named Rellius. So anyway, I go outside to get ready for this mission, then i trip over a baseball bat. randomly o_o. and i see Rellius outside o_o. i am unarmed, with nothing but a bunch of random stuff i can pull out of my magic rabit hat. anyway, i went down there and said "Hi" he is like "What do you want?" and im like "To kill you" anyway he is all like "I'm not intimidated" and hes right, he has nothing at all to worry about o_o. Until, i go back to the door, take the bat, and be at him to the ground. o_o. he didn't die so i randomly found Gash-o-line and set him on fire. Anyway, i walked inside the house to collect the money, and i see a fried Rellius that smelled like burnt ashes and hair, talking to the contracter o_o. Anyway, they settled whatever arguement they were having and went on with life o_o *even though i nearly murdered him* *also never got payed for some unknown reason even though i beat him to near-death* Purity o_o Anyway, i go home to the dumpster behind there house, it smelled like garbage, looking at it reminded me of the most repulsive stuff, anyway i sit down on a happy meal, take a nap, and come back at about 7:00 and see 10000 people inside the house that gets crowded with 3 people. Anyway, this guy wearing a dress comes up and hes all like "everyone settle down" and im like "lol hes wearing a dress o_o" then i am asked to leave but as always, i start yelling "NO NO PLZ GIVE MA NOTHER CHANCE I WONT EVER DO IT AGAIN PLZP LZPLP LZPZLZPZL ZPLLPLZPLZLZ" and they said "OMG. FINE." so anyway, the man with the blue dress continues, "I say we start a millitary type organization yadadgadadadadadada" then, he finally mentioned dis stuff about "Pure Clan" then this emma or somethin *forgot her name, this happened probably 2nd day in game* "I OPPOSE, THIS IS ENOUGH WITH THIS PURITY BULL. IM OUT OF HERE." and i was all like "...o_o" so anyway with her and the Island of misfits leaving, they continue o_o i am asked to join this clan or purity, and i accept o_o. Time as a Pure Clan member So anyway, it was basically being a spy o_o. i got to join allll the big squads o_o so, my first mission was to join an enemy squadron, in fact our rivals o_o, the Shadow Clan o_o. It was led by that Emma person. Anyway, since they think its a pretty awesome idea to give me no information, I go in alone, no weapons, NO NOTHING!!!!! NO BLOCKS, NO DOGES, NO CKILLING JUST NO NOTHING, AND NO NO NOTHING AFTER THIS NO NOTHING *Yo Dawg, i heard you like using no nothing...* anyway, i had nothing. No leads, no way to get into that squad, just nothing at all. i sat down Anyway, since it was still the time before squads were a thing, i was able to just put on a sith saber and go tell the leader "REPORTING FOR DOODY". *Thats all the effort i really put in things those days. So anyway, since it wasn't actually a legitament squad to be scared of, i started walking out of the apartment *AKA "our base"* And walked into Emma whatsitnames apartment anyway, the place was complete garbage. There was a couch that actually looks cleaner then the people that live in the living quarters o_o anyway, i used a red saber *Even though i hate Lightsabers* and i shoved it down a persons throat o_o *accidently* anyway, since this isn't a story with happy endings, i ended up getting a knife shoved up my- *Wuher: Dylan...*. Nah, anyway since it seemed as though everyone somehow was doing something bigger and better then worrying about the screaming and crys of one of there own dying, i sat on the couch i mentioned earlier for about 5 minutes, listening to there pointless arguing *Spoiler: they were arguing about Star Wars canon & continuity* Anyway, one then this stuff happened Emma: Wait- What the heck? Other guy: What? *mad* Emma: WHAT IS HE DOING Other guy: WHO Emma: *others guy name* IS ON THE FLOOR, HES NOT BREATHING Other guy: Really, i thought he was taking a nap Emma: YOU me: YOU Emma: DONT YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO ME me: Like what Emma: LIKE THAT. me: like that? Emma: SHUT UP. ANYWAY, DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED HERE me: ... Nope o_o Emma: Good, clean up the mess, so *other guy* As i was saying, the prequel trilogy was the be-*gets shot in head* me: YOU! *points gun* him: WHAT me: SAY JAR JAR BINKS IS AN ABOMINATION, NOW. OR YOU DIE. him: JARJARBINKSISANGIARNGAIPENAEGNAERAGN EVEN THOUGH I DONT AGREE DYLAN ANTIUNKNOWN WINS, FATALITY. Anyway, after thousand Mortal Kombat references later, i started walking back to the "base", Sarah: So, how did it go? Me: She dead Sarah: You idiot. Me: Well, it was either that or actually stay with them for a few months collecting intel o_o Her: What? Me: Didn't you tell me to spy on them? Her: No... me: Whoops o_o First adventerrrs Anyway, we are like a group of people who just go around and rage war until somone dies. So, i was hired to kill Ree Shaala, from what i hear she was completely insane o_o anyway, i used my magical powers to fly to mustafar, there, at Mustafar was lava flowing like water from a fountain, the sky as red as my eyes from the dryness of the air o_o. I could barely walk from the heaviness of my armor and equiptment, and the jetpack strapped to my back so it took me a while to walk o_o. Anyway, im left off in a random place, destined to burn *because they thought it'd be funny to leave me to die* until, i come across a town, it looked like corruption, smelled like villiianous scum, and i heard the sounds of people making a living off the suffering of others o_o *thats b-u-t-full nalyd* i had to climb a dang hill to get to it o_o anyway, i go to a bar *since for some reason its logical to people to serve alcohol as apposed to water in this god forsaken game* anyway, everyone was wearing those visors, and all had the j30 tag, and the room full of neon lights was a little annoying. *kind of typical o_o* anyway, im all like "One juicee plz o_o" then the guys all like "Screw juice." then im all like "Respect the pouch... o_o." then he responds with "No." and im like "Oh yeah o_o" anyway, these juice puns got on his nerve so much, next thing i know a pistol is put at my head, next thing he knows theres a knife in his neck o_o. anyway, people think its good to smash as much glasses as possible, they all then reach to the holsters pulling out there pistols, i happen to beat 5 of them, shooting them all o_o. then running to the opposite side of the povertic town o_o. I stumble upon a tower taller then the length of the volcanos. o_o. my first and only reaction was "LETZ CLIME ONIT" so, i did o_o. i climbed all the way to the top, i looked down, it looked as if i was staring down at the whole planet o_o. anyway, i get to the top, revealing a door and a penthouse, i open the door, revealing the leaders of the sinister group of pirates, Black Nebula. Zeon something and Ree Shaala o_o anyway, Zeon comes and hes like "DIE NOOB" and im like "Ok.... o_o" i decide to ignore him for now, and i just walk up, shoot shaala, and kick her off the tower o_o. Anyway, since i still had Zeon to take care of i pull out Katana Blades, he takes out a sword, and we have this epic duel o_o. It ended with him giving up and me saying awesome epic quotes like "Me and you, are destined to do this forever o_o" Anyway i activate the Pack, and i fly down, grab a Rocket Launcher, and shoot the tower down. Apparently Zeons body was never found o_o. Ministry Guard Anyway, about months later after that insert, i finally recieved a new mission, and it was THE MOST BORING THING EVER. remember that Daniel creep? o_o well, he needed my help o_o. I was informed to meet him at Ryloth. At Ryloth, i met him, and Senator Dawn Catara along with others i dont at all remember o_o. Anyway, i was basically just to spend my days messing around. Doing nothing unless people decide to mess with us. That happened on a regular basis once people started acknowledging our existance o_o. Anyway, there were a few intersting days as Ministry guard, i will only name the ones worth mentioning o_o. Oreo Cakestir, Redge Powerstunner Anyway once Daniel started noticing my incompetance, we added new people to the guard roster o_o. The first one was Redge Powerstunner, he was loyal, awesome, and skilled with everything there is to be a proffesional guard o_o, apparently he was once a member of Black Nebula, now looking to be redeemed for his horrible crimes o_o. The second was Oriuss Stealthgleam, he was incompitent, stupid, funny, a troublemaker, and everything the senate didn't need. Him and Dylan got along just fine o_o. Apparently he was a Jedi Master, but, reports show he was a member of a high valued group of Bounty Hunters led by Vareel Kelvor, but who cares, they let me in so they must emply anyone. those three went on to become the 3 amigos o_o. *And Oreo Cakestir went on to marry Dawn Catara, but i'll get to that later* The corrupt politician All groups have that horrible person o_o somehow it wasn't Me, Redge, or even Oreo o_o it was a senator, Evan Laserscanner. He accused Daniel Greenpulser to be corrupt, evil, an vile on many occasions o_o so we finally decided to dispose of him for being a noob and killjoy o_o in later times, he was discovered to have became the terrorist, Evan Bane who basically goes around and noobs anyone bigger and more powerful then him to death o_o. *A new term, Noobed to death has just been made* anyway he never became much of a problem until later times o_o. Nova Corp So anyway, at one point in time a powerful weapons company owner came in and did stuff the old fashioned way, bought the Senate o_o. anyway, her name was Dureena Nova, thats the woman you and your squad buddys wanted to go "ckill" the other day. Anyway, she now had full control over us, many of us actually decided to leave do to the dark history of Dureena, including Dylan o_o. In fact, Pure Clan wanted no part in the senate at all at that time o_o. In the end, Nova gave up the rights to the Senate, but the ties to the pure clan have been scarred for life after that o_o The Marriage of Oreo Cakestir, and Dawn Catara Saddest. Day. Ever. for one, Oreo for some reason made Redge the best man, and somehow got to plan the wedding itself. that wasn't even the most tragic part of the day. Anyway, the Wedding was quite awesome o_o *time to go back into awwsum righter moddeee* The sky was as blue as the two pantorans skin *...o_o* The white clouds were aligned with silver, the grass was greener then the stuff on Redges shoe then Kermit the frog *lol o_o like thats anymore of an improvement* There were flowers of different colors blooming everywhere, but. All good things must come to an end. Suddenly, a woman dressed in all black, with blonde hair, and lightsabers as red as blood came, and said these chilling words as the preacher guy said "All who oppose, speak now forever hold there peace." The woman replied with "I oppose, after all. How can you have a wedding without a bride." Dylan ended up getting knocked out by a droid, so he missed all the fun blood shed o_o. He woke up to a crying Oreo, and the Dawn, coming to a tragic end *meaning she kicked the bucket* Moving on with life For some reason this drastically changed everyones life, Oreo was feeling anger, sadness, and loneleness all in one, Daniel was wondering what he'd do with one less Senator *a pretty important one, considering she was second in command* And Dylan, having to leave due to business. He had recently got a message from his old BFF Zeon o_o "I'm going to Kill you, Dylan. and in the end, i had to leave and fake my death o_o. for all everyone knows i was killed trying to save the others o_o Nah im kidding.